Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
