No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
