Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
