He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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