Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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