Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
