I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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