Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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