ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize