feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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