I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
