windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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