she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
