Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
