Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
