look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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