idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
