So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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