Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
nutella sex= disaster
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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