Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
