I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
