It's a beautiful day for a hangover
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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