Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
