Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
