Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
