they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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