Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
