Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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