I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
