you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
