butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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