Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
