I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We have so much sex to catch up on
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
