I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
