Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
