Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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