spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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