singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
