Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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