she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
