I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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