I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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