Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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