Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize