just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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