At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
