Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
