Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so let's talk penis.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
