i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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