sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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