I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
