Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
