dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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