she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This beer is not sobering me up at all
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
