this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
