i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
