The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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