yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
