i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize