who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
