yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
