I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
