oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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