like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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