How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize