my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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