Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
