All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
