It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
