Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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